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Independent women

we arn't born just to pay bills and die

#im_21_and_independent

And that was perfect. the time i found finally to write a letter of gratitude. Maybe the nuance of maturity—if I can call myself mature—is not feeling the need to make mountains out of molehills, as it were. In a world of unsolicited advice, clickbait and listicles, herein lies a meaningfully meaningless summary.

#im_21_and_independent.

There is no de-prioritizing the simple things from now on. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Literally. This probably sounds ridiculous to the wiser among you, but year after year, the time just seems to fall away. I find it more and more difficult to keep moments close, there are just too many. Too much has happened. Too much will continue to happen, which just makes living in the present that much more important. Good willing, there will be a tomorrow and a next day and a next. There is no guaranteeing yesterday’s milestones will matter in the grand scheme of things, even if I do manage to remember them. But the present is an opportunity, and it is free for the taking. It’s right there, and I have to do a better job of appreciating (and paying attention to) exactly what I have in front of me.

Everything is complicated. I love what I do, but that email just made me wonder why I stick with it. I’m tired, but I want time to myself after work instead of an early bedtime. I’m busy, but shh! Don’t say that, it makes you a terrible person. There’s too much time wasted talking in circles, but my free time is guilt-ridden. I’m excited for the next big project, but weighed down by what it will take to get it done. I love Maldives, but that damn shop timings is a crime against humanity. I’m eating clean this week, but I need “moms Friday special so badly”, like, right now. I want to do it all. I also want to do absolutely nothing. And yes, of course I realize just how incredibly, painfully normal all of this is. Perfectionism is a slow death….If everything were to turn out just as I would want it, just as I would plan, I would never experience anything new. My life would be an endless repetition of stale successes. When I make a mistake I experience something unexpected.

Courage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can’t practice any other virtue consistently. Best living example for me is HER who never gave up, on me or on the world that’s been fueling the breakout of her life. And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about. And she taught me its okay to walk into a storm and everything will be alright. And yes she would give birth to me again and im her daughter.

Sometimes beautiful things come into our lives out of nowhere. We can’t always understand them, but we have to trust in them. I know you want to question everything, but sometimes it pays to just have a little faith.She was the first person to think I was funny. She would stop crying only when I hid behind the couch and popped out yelling “booo” To this day, no one can get under my skin like you do. just as being in sync seems to return balance to the universe. I can’t imagine sharing the same parents with anyone else and I count my lucky stars whenever they do something amazing or embarrassing or weird or nurturing or terrible and I have you to talk to about it. What can I say? Other than something older-sisterly, like, you’re more important to the people in your life than you realize, You are my tiny dancer; you are my mini-me; you are the greatest gift somebody could ever ask or pray for.and that one day we’ll be the weirdest old ladies on the block, listening to a mix of 16 year age gap pop songs and laughing as we realize we made it! As sisters whom the world was waiting to run over with sarcasm. Yet they failed.

There is a definitive moment in a person’s life where they become acutely aware of the fact that they found their soul mate. I’m not talking about the person they’ll spend the rest of their days waking up to each morning. I’m talking about the awkward person you didn’t like that forced themselves on you on( some day i dont remember but i wish it was earlier than ever) that changed your life forever. So, to that awkward person, my best friend.I hope we grow old still best friends and be the coolest grandmas our generation would ever have. And no you are not allowed to Not be best friends ever.

And yet we move to cherish one more year with all the craziness in the world around me. Though nobody can go back and make a new beginning… Anyone can start over and make a new ending.

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Human arnt real ✌️

You are tired of it, aren’t you? You find yourself arguing again. You feel anger rising up in you. You realize there’s no use in trying to explain your position and decide to stop the conversation.
To love life, to love it even when you have no stomach for it, your throat filled with the silt of it. When grief sits with you, its tropical heat thickening the air, heavy as water more fit for gills than lungs, when grief weights you like your own flesh only more of it, an obesity of grief, you think, How can a body withstand this? Then you hold life like a face between your palms, a plain face, no charming smile, no violet eyes, and you say, yes, I will take you I will love you, again
And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about right?
Faith cannot be justified by reasons nor can be explained by proof. Sometimes, it won’t even make sense. It is believing the unseen and trusting the unknown beyond the horizons yet within the reach. Bringing peace to your soul and meaning to your existence. It is what the heart knows and understands but the mind fails to comprehend.

Until then love your solitude and try to sing out with the pain it causes you. For those who are near you, are far away and this shows that the space around you is beginning to grow vast. Be happy about your growth, in which of course you can’t take anyone with you, and be gentle with those who stay behind, be confident and calm in front of them and don’t torment them with your doubts and don’t frighten them with your faith or joy, which they wouldn’t be able to comprehend. Seek out some simple and true feeling of what you have in common with them, which doesn’t necessarily have to alter when you yourself change again and again. Love life in a form that is not your own and be indulgent toward those who are growing old, who are afraid of the aloneness that you trust. and don’t expect any understanding from anyone about your journey or life but believe in a love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have faith that in this love there is a strength and a blessing so large that you can travel as far as you wish without having to step outside it.

I will ❤️ you again!

To love life, to love it even when you have no stomach for it and everything you’ve held dear crumbles like burnt paper in your hands, your throat filled with the silt of it. When grief sits with you, its tropical heat thickening the air, heavy as water more fit for gills than lungs; when grief weights you like your own flesh only more of it, an obesity of grief, you think, How can a body withstand this?

Then you hold life like a face between your palms, a plain face,no charming smile, no violet eyes,and you say, yes, I will take you

I will love you, again.

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Roller Coaster 👣

A star falls from the sky and into your hands. Then it seeps through your veins and swims inside your blood and becomes every part of you. And then you have to put it back into the sky. And it’s the most painful thing you’ll ever have to do and that you’ve ever done. But what’s yours is yours. Whether it’s up in the sky or here in your hands. And one day, it’ll fall from the sky and hit you in the head real hard and that time, you won’t have to put it back in the sky again.

Maybe that’s the way of love. It doesn’t wait to be invited in, and it won’t be coerced. It gently creeps under your skin, a mild itch at first, not giving itself away in case you scratch it and cause an infection. But then it sinks in deeper, getting into your bloodstream. It travels. By the time it reaches your brain and you’re aware of the infection, it’s already taken over your heart. It’s a captor, a guard, imprisoning you in the clutches of another, knitting the fabric of your own life to somebody else’s, whether you like it or not.
And for someone who had never had a mother and father, and who had never loved or been loved, marveled at the ways in which feeling so wonderful, could also leave one open to so much pain. In a strange way she also wanted to care about someone so much, that she knew it could hurt.
She might’ve previously veered off track and landed straight into foolish land, but how many foolish lands she had to land to recognize, how unpredictable life is and then apologize to those she had hurt when she tried forcing things to fit in place?

Work… 

work work work work work… 

Have you ever found yourself wrapped up in the fetal position, sucking your thumb, while a loved one desperately tries to pull on your suit jacket so you dont miss your carpool?

Have you become so bored with work that you’ve started keeping sandwich crusts under your keyboard, just to see how many ants you can attract?  Have you started thinking about work as simply…work?

Everyone needs a little career inspiration from time to time.

Whether it’s to reframe your workplace goals, or to give serious thought as to why you’re working a specific job in the first place.  It’s nice to know that others have been there before, questioning, suffering, and wondering just as much as the rest of us sandwich-hoarding, ant-counting, schmucks.

I don’t wake up everyday to impress you

d86900ba1685984f9f44b24f0fc6bf12Too many people spend money they haven’t earned to buy things they don’t want to impress people they don’t like.

Get ripped, get laid

Crawling is acceptable. Falling is acceptable. Puking is acceptable. Tears are acceptable. Pain is acceptable. Injury is acceptable. Quitting is unacceptable

2015-11-08-15-27-53-454[1]  2015-11-08-15-42-15-670[1]

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